Finding Yourself
by LaMB-COW
Summary: Renesmee wanted to forget everything. She wakes up in a hospital in Detroit Michigan under the name Vanessa Wolfe. But her problems don't end at her amnesia. A certain cult of vampires is after her for some reason, and one of the group is determined to make her remember just who they are. (Reneslec)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: The new school year always brings new plots to my brain, so don't worry, I'm still working on ALL my stories!

This is/ will eventually be a story about my number one OTP; Reneslec. Its my first romance story though, so be prepared for that! Thanks all for checking it out! Read on!

-Lamb

The first thing I remember hearing was the beeping of a hospital heart monitor. It was going much too fast to be healthy, but I understood this was normal for me, and not something I had to worry about. I just didn't understand why. My eyes cracked open a peak and I was greeted by the awful fluorescent lights of the white tiled ceilings.

"Ah, you're awake Ms... Wolfe." A clean shaven doctor said with a glance at his notepad. I stared blankly at him for a few moments, unsure what to do. I couldn't remember anything.

"I... I don't know why I'm here." I said in a voice that was much too parched to sound healthy. The doctor handed me a plastic cup of water and I gulped it down like a starved man would food.

"You were in an awful accident a few days ago. You got a concussion, and we suspect some brain damage was done. You may have slight memory loss, but don't worry, you have medical records already on file, you're not all forgotten." The doctor said, his words quite blunt, yet carefully chosen.

"Can I get some more water?" I asked, deciding not to over think too much on what this could mean. What would it mean even if I knew? I couldn't remember any memories.

...

I spent another week in the hospital. They had me answering questions about the world; current countries, events and people. Then they asked me questions about schools; books read, sciences learned, math problems. Then, once they found none of my base knowledge of the world around me was gone, they started asking about who my family was.

Nothing.

I had no idea. Did I have a brother? A sister, perhaps? I didn't know!

"Vanessa. Vanessa, do you know who your family is?" The kind nurse asked me. I shook my head, finally letting my eyes meet hers.

"I don't remember anyone." I said in a small voice.

"Okay. How about... What is your hometown?" She asked.

"I... I don't remember. I don't remember anything!" I started to panic then. People were supposed to know these things about themselves! That why hospitals- mental doctors- asked those kinds of questions! To decide if you were fit to go into the real world!

"It's okay, Vanessa, it's fine if you don't know these things. You'll be alright." The nurse said patiently. I was still concerned though.

"Okay, if you want we can always pick up on this tomorrow. Do you want that, hun?" She asked. I didn't want that. Not really. I wanted to go home. Where that was I wasn't sure, but I wanted out of the hospital. It was making me feel like a crippled old person!

But I agreed anyways. They wouldn't let me leave like I was. I had no idea who I was!

...

"Doctor Phelps, tell me again where we are?" I asked in a daze as I stared a cup of flowers one of the nurses had put on my bedside.

"We're in Detroit Michigan, Vanessa. I told you that yesterday." He told me. I just nodded.

"I know. I'm just trying to see if it rings any bells. I want to remember, you know?" I defended.

"Yes. Its a good thought." He said, and then he was gone.

...

The next day, one of the nurses who'd been overseeing me the past few day stopped by. "Vanessa, seeing as you're not ill besides your memory loss, you may leave the hospital to your home. We have arranged for someone to help you back to your apartment in a little over twenty minutes. Hopefully there you'll have a better chance at jogging your memories." The nurse said with a hopeful smile.

"I... I get to leave?" I asked, a small smile started at my lips, a bit of fire returning to my dulled brown eyes.

The lady chuckled and nodded. "Yes. Soon. Now, we were able to snatch some clothes your size from the donations bin for you to leave in today, so you don't have to worry about leaving in a hospital gown." I smiled appreciatively at the woman.

I changed in the bathroom and was ushered outside to my ride a few minutes later with 'my' cell phone and wallet.

"Thank god you're finally out of there Ness, it's been too long! They wouldn't let me in to visit because I 'wasn't family', can you believe that? They wouldn't even tell me what happened!" The man in the drivers seat ranted, his Detroit accent showing through just like all the doctors in the hospital. I guess it was really me who had the accent around these parts.

"I'm sorry... Do I know you?" I asked in utter confusion. I wish I could say I had recognized the man sitting next to me in the car, but nothing about him rang true. He was just another face.

"Ness... Stop fooling around!" He said, nudging me. I flinched away from his touch instinctively.

"Look, the doctors say I have severe memory loss. I'm sorry if we were close, but I don't know who you are." I said pleading he would believe me. For all I knew this guy could be a murderer ex boyfriend. Not that that was likely, but... You never know, especially if you don't know anything.

He looked me in the eye for a long time before finally nodding his head in defeat.

"I know you're telling the truth. Everything about you says that you are, but I don't want to believe it." He mumbled, but I barely heard it. While he started talking I felt a dull burn in my throat akin to the thirst I'd felt when first waking up in the hospital. But this was different. My ears caught the dull sound of the man's heart beat and my attention was directed to the left side of his neck. The veins pulsed lightly beneath his skin and I felt the urge to lean in and...

"Vanessa! Are you okay?" My attention was snapped back to his face immediately and the ache in my throat was put on the back burner in my mind.

"I'm fine. Sorry." I mumbled, feeling odd for the strange impulses. I knew I should ignore them, but I couldn't remember why I had them in the first place. I was fairly certain not everyone had moments like that, and I didn't know how to feel quite yet.

"It's okay. This must be so strange for you." He said earnestly. I shrugged.

"I don't have much to go off of. Its just new. Nothing's normal or weird yet." Except for a couple seconds ago when I wanted your blood. I thought with uncertainty. It all felt more real as I thought it. Drink blood. As sick as it sounded I only felt a little disturbed by the sentence.

"I guess that's true." He said. There was a few minutes of silence as we drove across the city to who-knows-where. My life guide for the day let out a big sigh. "I guess I should introduce myself then." He said glancing over at me.

"Okay, yeah. I would introduce myself too, but you know me better than I know myself I'm sure." I said with a joking smile. If I couldn't control my state of remembrance, why worry over it?

He smiled for a moment before it was gone, and he started talking. "My name's Matthias, and I go by Matt. Umm, we both go to college here and thats where we met. You and I are part of a big group of friends, but we live in the same building, so we lean on each other a lot. I don't know what else to say, honestly. Thats about it." Matt- finally! A name!- said. We had thus pulled into a parking space and Matt began to get out of the vehicle.

"C'mon your apartment is upstairs." He said with a faint smile. My bet was he was in love with me, but I had never realized it because we were always such close friends and now that I didn't know who he was, he didn't know how to talk to me. Just a guess though.

If my life were a story, and that thought was right though... Would I be spoiling a major plot point? I wondered conspiratorially, or would that be a minor point in the event of my life? I guess I may never know... Or at least not yet. Only time will tell.

Matt lead us into a fancy first floor greeting room. We then took the elevator to the top floor. I had the penthouse? Was I rich or something? It got even wilder as we walked in the apartment. It was huge. The ceiling was at least twenty feet up and there was a large loft over half the giant open floor-planned home. There was a kitchen on the far side of the spacious room with fancy granite counters and stainless steel appliances. In the opening to the room there was a couch area with a TV setup. A narrow spiral staircase led up to the second loft-landing. From the door I could only see the edge of a desk, but I was sure there was much more. There was a full wall of windows on one side of the room, the long side. On the opposite wall were a few doors, presumable leading to a bathroom and or closets.

Over all I was overwhelmed by the vast and high fashion apartment I was now standing in. Was this my home? Sure there were nice things and it was liveable, but it didn't feel very homely.

"I live... Here?" I asked Matt cautiously as I stepped into the room.

"Yeah, pretty sweet, eh? You're rich or something I swear. You don't like to talk about it much, but you get a lot of money from your family. They did this for you so you would go to college and join 'the family business'. At least, thats what you've told me before." Matt said, a hint of jealousy tinting his tone.

"Wow." Was my miraculous response.

"Yeah. So, do you want me to stick around or should I go?" Matt asked.

I shook my amazement off and turned to him. "Could you stay? Just while I look around and get used to my living place so I don't die or something?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Course. I'll be over here, watching your cable, yeah?" Matt replied cooly, plopping down on a comfortable looking blue couch.

"Yeah, thats cool." I said with a smile as I started investigating my new home. I checked the doors first, finding a considerable sized walk in closet and a small, well furnished bathroom. Then I looked through the kitchen and after finding only kitchen things I started walking back towards the door to go upstairs when I saw a set of doors for a room under the upstairs platform, which I'd somehow missed. The doors, however, were locked and there were curtains over the cute windows that decorated the door. I frowned. Why was I so mysterious, whoever I was?

I moved on after a moment and went upstairs. The bedroom was simple enough. It was a lot more lived in than the rest of the house, that much was for sure. It was more personalized. I started ransacking the room for anything that would tell me who I was. But I was still surprised when I found something. There was a journal in the drawer of the bedside table with only one entry in it somewhere in the middle.

If you don't know you're name, this is the right place to be. You've probably been in some sort of accident. Im sorry. Thats my fault. I'm sure its much nicer not remembering than how my life is though. Things are hard. Everyone is gone. But thats not what you need to know. If you don't even know your name, you also don't know that you're half vampire. No, I'm not lying. Why would I lie to myself? I wouldn't. There's a book on it downstairs in the locked room. As well as my collection. Don't use the doors on the first floor though. There's a trapdoor and ladder under the rug in here. Use that entrance.

All that is nice to know, but this is what's really important. Watch out for the Volturi. You may be in danger.

-Nessa.

I didn't know what the Volturi was, but the tears and blood stains on the page made me shudder. I certainly didn't want to find out.

...

After a few more minutes I had resolved to go to sleep, so I sent Matt on his way. I left the hospital in the late afternoon and now it was getting dark. One of the windows was propped open from earlier when Matt claimed to have come up here to cook. Maybe thats why the kitchen smelled like walnuts and oranges. I shook it off and took a shower and changed into some clothes in the unfamiliar environment.

I felt odd as I stood in the living area with no doctors or nurses talking to me and checking up. It was all I remembered, but I pushed it away. I needed to go to sleep. Even as I started on my way up the stairs though, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Not here. Not now.

So I went back down and sat on the couch with all the lights in the house off, letting the city light the room. It was peaceful to see the dull lights of the rest of the world around me, and just as I was drifting off, I heard the sound of feet against the ground.

I sat up boltright. This wasn't right. Nobody opened the door. And yet I could see the silhouette of a man in the kitchen stalking towards me.

"I warned you, Cullen. If you got taken into the hospital, I would come after you. We had an agreement. Either go all the way and die, or stay out of trouble. Now you have to pay. What do you think the doctors think of you?" I heard a low, silky voice ask.

"I... I don't know what you're talking about." I stuttered, standing up quickly. The man was much closer now and I could feel the coolness of his skin near me.

"Of course you do. Don't play dumb, Cullen." He continued.

"I really don't know you. And my name isn't Cullen. You must have the wrong person." I said, my voice surprisingly level.

"Stop ng dumb, Renesmee. We all know you're a Cullen. Hell, our whole world does." He spoke again. Another figure stepped into the room, walking towards us from the open window.

"Alec, I don't think she remembers us. Do you suppose the accident was worse than she meant?" A deeper voice asked.

"Felix, what are you implying, instead of dying as she intended, she got memory loss." Alec- or who I assumed to be Alec- asked incredulously. "I doubt that. It's not how she acted. We both dealt with her. You should know that just as well as I."

"I don't know, but thats how it seems, whether that was her intention or not. Thats what happened. I just hacked the hospital records. She was reported with memory loss under the name Vanessa Wolfe, the name the Cullen's gave her for passports, don't you remember Aro telling us that?" Felix explained, which confused me, but seemed to make sense to Alec.

"Ah. Well. If she doesn't remember who we are- what we are- we'll just have to remind her." He said and his piercing red eyes looked straight into my brown ones with obvious mal intent. I shivered and not because of the draft.

"Good plan, brother." A shrill female voice called from across the room, her shiny blonde hair and fearsome red eyes catching in the city lights I had been nearly killed to sleep by just minutes before.

It didn't take a genius to figure that this was the Volturi the diary entry was talking about.

I was indeed in trouble.

A/N: What did you think? Good? Bad? First chapters are generally pretty rough.

Follows and Favorites are appreciated, though I would mostly appreciate reviews! They take like two seconds! Tell me something you thought as you read, anything!

Thanks all!

DFTBA!

-Lamb


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So I wrote most of this really late and I was really in the zone, so I don't remember any of what I just wrote… I'm not sure that Alec is super in character, but he's pretty vague in and of himself… so I hope you like this characterization. There are reasons he's acting the way he is, so don't worry ;)

So, now, without further ado, here is chapter two!

-Lamb

I was unsure what to do. Alec was towering over me, his bright red eyes glistening maliciously, and his sister and Felix were flanking him. I felt tag teamed, and there was nobody on my side to help.

"You're the Volturi." I stated. It sounded like a question, which, in a way it was, but I was trying to be firm in my fear.

"Ah, so she does remember." Alec sneered. "Too bad you don't know what that means." I shrunk back so I was more firmly leaned against the wall.

"You're right; I don't know what it means. And I don't understand why you're here! If I am a vampire, that makes sense, I guess..." I started thinking back to earlier in the car. "But it doesn't mean anything to me, because I don't know anything about anyone!" I said hotheadedly.

"You know, considering how she was before, at least she's improved her attitude." Felix mused behind Alec. I frowned in his general direction.

"People need to stop saying... Shit like that! I don't know who I was before, and yeah, I'm a bit curious, and a lot frustrated, but I can't control what I don't remember! It's not _my _fault, it's the _old me's_!" I hissed at the three figures.

"You need to chill out before I make you," Alec hissed, his red eyes burning with anger on his otherwise emotionless face.

"You are much too optimistic, Felix. Why do we like you again?" The girl- Alec's alleged sister- muttered at Felix.

"Because I'm more loveable than Dimitri." Felix muttered back. The petite girl glared at him and he flinched.

"Stop that!" He said in agitation. She rolled her eyes.

"Cullen!" Alec yelled in my face.

"Stop calling me that! It's not my name!" I yelled back, my attention put back on the horribly annoying, yet equally gorgeous, man in front of me.

"But it is! You're a Cullen!" He argued.

"My name is Wolfe comma Vanessa. Okay? Okay!" I rebutted.

"Alec, this is going nowhere. She doesn't remember your agreement. We need to either get to the point and be a little more understanding of her, or move on and dump her." Felix said quietly into Alec's ear. It was pointless though, because I could hear every word he said.

Alec sighed and looked away for a moment. "Fine." He said finally. "Here's the thing, Cullen; you violated a vampiric law, your remembrance of it aside. I have direct orders to observe you from the vampire government. You have been pegged as a danger in the past, and the little stunt you pulled, getting put into the hospital, could jeopardize what good we have going for our kind in America." Alec explained his eyes as hard and unforgiving as the law itself.

I gulped. Shit. Now I had a vampire on my ass about something I don't remember! Greaaat.

"Can we start tomorrow, I just got out the hospital a couple hours ago, so I haven't had a good night sleep at any remembered time. I promise I won't sleep walk to the hospital any time in the next eight hours. Now can you all get the hell out of my apartment?!" I hissed. The girl glared and I could almost feel a static shock from her gaze. Wow. If looks could kill she'd be stabbing me right about now!

"Damn Bella." She said bitterly as she glared harder. I flinched as the static turned into a faint drilling feel at the center of my forehead.

"Jane, stop it. It's unnecessary." Alec said firmly.

"Fine." Jane muttered and the drilling stopped. I sighed a breath of relief.

"We'll leave, but I'll be back at the crack of dawn. This isn't over, Cullen." Alec said with one more dark look at me. Then he made a gesture with his hands and the three moved at lightning speed away and out the window from whence they came.

I collapsed back onto the couch I had lay on before and was lulled to sleep by the sound of car horns in the distance.

...

Even with more proper sleeping conditions, I had a fitful night. I blamed Alec. He was my new go-to for the reasons the world sucked.

I dreamt of a meadow... _The snow was fresh, perhaps the first of the season. I seemed to be atop a giant beast with red brown fur. I looked around myself and was surprised by the abundance of people with white faces. We were split into two sides._

_There were many in hoods across in the west, three standing further out than the rest. How odd. I glanced back to the side I stood at. There were more people here, though they looked much less professional. Family._

_The word came from nowhere but suddenly in overwhelmed me and I could feel a sinking in my gut. _

_We were in a war. This was my family, and we were on the front row of a two sided war. I felt adrenaline pulsing through my veins. But even as a blonde left across the clearing to speak to the opposing leader, we didn't fight. Instead, a woman with dark brown hair and orange-red eyes led me down off the furry beast to the ground and walked me across to the three. _

_I looked around then saw the only face that made any sense; it was Alec. He was watching his leader carefully, as if calculating whether or not he would choose to slaughter everyone in that moment. Suddenly everything but him was gone. _

_I looked down at the snow. It was no longer frozen flakes, but chunks of my so called family underneath me. Their skin was white as snow, and I guess that's what was so ironic about it all._

_It felt like a mountain peak pierced my chest. _

_Alec laughed maliciously. "Serves you right, Cullen." _

_"Don't call me that! I'm not one of them anymore! They left me!" I screamed at him._

_"Keep telling yourself that, C. You're only lying to yourself. You left them. You didn't want them anymore! If anyone should be heartbroken it's them!" He rebutted harshly._

_"What do you know about losing loved ones?" I screeched, staggering to my feet._

_"Back down, Cullen. You don't know anything about me. I'm not afraid to kill you. I won't hesitate if you take another step." He ground out. But I didn't believe him. _

_I took the step._

_Jane stepped out of the shadows. "Take your fun, sister." Alec said, a sadistic smile lighting his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked tired in his eyes. He was an old soul, I supposed._

_"Don't mind if I do." She grinned. _

_Then the pain. _

_The pain of a million laser pointers shining in my eyes, drills boring into my skull, and my hair felt like it was being ripped out all at once. Maybe the feeling of knives in my sides was there as well, it was all so overwhelming that I wouldn't be surprised if my legs were snapping under my weight._

_I collapsed with screams of pain at the edge of my tolerance. I would surely die if this continued._

_"Ask for it to stop Renesmee, I'll make it go away," Alec murmured, faux sweet._

_"Go... To... Hell!" I yelled, tears in my eyes._

_"I've already been there, it's my hometown." He said and laughed insanely._

_"Stop it! The pain!" I pleaded. _

_"Too late, Cullen. Too late." Alec said with a happy sigh._

_"No! I'll stop it!" I promised and with that, I bit my tongue, and stood up ignoring the pain. It's all in your head, Nessa! I told myself over and over again. I got to my feet and my arm collided with Jane's. She started screaming and she pulled back immediately. The pain stopped then._

_"What did you just do?!" She screeched. _

_I was confused. "I didn't do anything! It's you that's trying to murder me with your horrible mind tricks!" I yelled. Before I could say another word I collapsed on a pile of blood drained bodies. _

_Their blood was on my hands._

_"We didn't have forever. You lied." I mumbled into the frosty air towards the dead corpse of someone I didn't recognize._

My eyes flashed open, greeted by the rude morning light spilling in through all the windows. The dream, so vivid in my mind moments ago, started to drift away. What was my dream about again?

All that was left was Alec and a lot of pain.

That's when I heard the breathing. I sat up and after a brief moment of dizziness, I focused on the boy across the room.

"So you're awake then?" He asked uninterestedly.

"I suppose so." I replied, my head pounding.

"You either are, or you aren't. There's no medium." Alec said with a scoff. I shook my head.

"Why are you talking to me, aren't you supposed to be my personal stalker or something?" I muttered at him.

He nodded after a moment. "Basically. I do need to talk to you about that though. You obviously don't know the laws anymore." Alec said, sounding bored.

I walked over to the kitchen and Alec stepped back as I drew closer like he we were magnets with the same charge and thus repulsed each other. I nearly rolled my eyes. "You're right on that one." I told him. I didn't know what to think about him being here. I mean, on the one hand, he would give me some of the knowledge I'd forgotten in a way that I won't be biased; I don't know who I was, but my past would surely have gotten in the way, however I was. On the other hand, he was a complete stranger from the secret vampire government who has special orders to stalk me so he can decide whether or not I'm going to screw up life for all his friends.

I started rummaging through my fridge in search for something appetizing, but everything looked disgusting. I frowned and grabbed a yogurt cup, putting it to my nose. I had at least thirty cups like this one in the mini-cold-room, but as I caught a whiff of it, I couldn't help the way it made my stomach turn.

Was nothing about me normal? If I had this much of a food_ shouldn't I like it? I threw the yogurt back in the fridge and slammed the door, sitting on a bar stool with my head in my hands. Alec regarded me with guarded eyes.

"What?" I asked in exasperation.

"You seem frustrated." He said. I stared at him dubiously.

"You don't say." I muttered.

His eyes lit up with understanding suddenly, but the look disappeared nearly as soon as it appeared. "You're thirsty." He stated. It was most definitely _not_ a question. In fact, it nearly sounded like an order.

"What?" I mumbled into my arms confusedly. I mean, as far as I knew, food was fine. I may have been part vampire, but all the food at the hospital had been nice, filling even. Probably more than I'd had in a long time. I didn't feel like I needed blood at all. But as I thought back to yesterday with Matt, I wasn't so sure. Maybe I was craving blood…

"You're thirsty; you need blood." Alec said slowly as if I was an idiot.

"No! I don't need blood!" I exclaimed, my head snapping up so I could stare him in the eyes. They were a strong crimson color.

"But you _are_ thirsty. There's no way you aren't; you haven't had any blood of _any_ kind for weeks." Alec said evenly, staring me square in the eyes.

"How would you know? Stalker." I asked, mumbling the last part. Alec scoffed.

"I've been watching you for the few weeks I've been in town. You posed a threat, I wasn't keeping really close tabs, but I needed to make sure you weren't screwing things up." Alec replied.

"Fine. Yes, I'm a little thirsty. But I'm not going to go _murder_ people!" I hissed, my eyes darkening in disgust.

"You need to feed. You may be only a halfling, but if you aren't careful, you'll go out and binge sooner or later. And that's bad. Too much drinking in one area leads to suspicion. Suspicion leads to investigations, which could lead to exposure if somebody isn't careful. Exposure means burnings like in the old days when everyone knew and hated vampires. We don't want that. Thus, we go." Alec explained in hurried exasperation before he grabbed my shoulder and led me out of the apartment I would now call home.

…

Alec led me out of the building onto the roof. I was shell-shocked to find a giant garden living on the rooftop paradise. Millions of plants of all kinds seemed to thrive up here. I couldn't describe it…

"Keep moving," Alec grunted, pulling us to the edge.

"What are you doing?" I asked, afraid he planned on pushing me off the side of the building. I thought I heard him scoff then, but I wasn't sure.

"I'm not going to pull anything, _we're_ only looking for whom to go after, and it's much easier to pick a target from up here." Alec said, letting his hands fall at his sides once more.

"I will not kill people. Doesn't it seem wrong to you?" I asked in shock. I wouldn't want to die, so why would I kill anyone?

Alec shook his head. "It's natural. Instincts are never wrong." He replied coolly. Obviously he had some sort of strong fast belief of that.

"But you said I was half right? I have a heartbeat and blood, unlike full vampires. Won't it not be the same for me? What if normal blood is like poison for me because I'm half human?" I rattled my voice a tangle in confusion and nerves. Yes, I was nervous! But, with a face like that in front of you, telling you to _murder_ people… granted, it was a good looking face…

"It won't poison you." Alec insisted, then turned on his heel, not grabbing my arm this time. "Come on, Cullen, let's get some O negative in with your ABC-negative-DEF-positive, or whatever the hell kind of blood you've got in your half dead veins." Alec called, muttering the last part only just loud enough for me to hear.

…

We went down the elevator. For some reason, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Sure, I couldn't remember a lot of things, but I was positive that in Hollywood, vampires didn't go out in the sunlight like Alec and I had on the roof- though he had a cloak on then, as did he now- They didn't show up in mirrors, couldn't balance a spoon on their noses. But out of all the things it was that vampires were supposed to be of the night, mysterious and scary to the utmost degree. But, through Alec's cool, hard demeanor, I could see he wasn't completely ruthless; he was still a person though he was undead.

But come on! He was _undead!_ I was partially undead! And we were taking the elevator! It felt weird. Shouldn't we be taking the stairs which would be flooded with moonlight- were it actually the night- wearing capes of billowing black and corning people as they left their apartments and killing them slowly?

But we didn't do any of these things, and I was again struck that I was by no means living in a movie. My story was only as twisted as I made it out to be. I was half vampire, Alec was full, and we didn't act like the media all assumed we all would if they believed some form of vampire was real. I would live for any number of uncountable years and Alec would now be monitoring me until I seemed fit… or not a threat to the rest of the world. It would've been helpful if I at least remembered more of who I was, but, that was something I couldn't change, I supposed, so I made to not dwell too much on it.

I was brought out of my reverie when the elevator opened on not the ground floor as we had been headed, but the third. Matt entered the elevator, completely ignoring my presence. I frowned. Why wasn't he acknowledging me? He seemed aware of the elevator music and started humming along idly, glancing in the reflective walls of the tin-can-like room.

"Matt?" I asked aloud, trying to elicit some sort of response from my only connection to any sort of past. "Matt!" I said, growing more and more confused. That's when I noticed the faint grayness in the air, and Alec's oddly positioned hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked him dubiously.

He rolled his scarlet eyes as if his actions were obvious. "Well, we can't just go around killing people, Renesmee," Alec started and I resisted the urge to correct him. _It's Vanessa!_ I imagined myself saying only for him to give me some sort of blank stare and insist on calling me either Cullen or Renesmee again. "It's technically against the law." He said. "However, my ability makes it so nobody who doesn't have to will know we're there." He explained in a dull voice.

"What, you made us invisible? But he can't hear us either!" I complained.

"No, Cullen, my power is more than that. But that doesn't matter now. Here's the elevator." He said as the doors before us _dinged!_

We stepped out after Matt and made our way out into the city.

…

We seemed to walk for hours. Maybe it was my acute sense of time, or the way that I could hear all the conversations around me, but something about our brisk walk through the city seemed to take forever. I tried to convince Alec to let us at least get a taxi if we would be walking far, but he'd only rolled his eyes and insisted we walk. I couldn't for the life of me understand his intentions, but I followed him wordlessly after that.

As we ventured out, however, I was struck by the cultures around me on the streets in a way I couldn't remember experiencing, and my attention was distracted from the quest Alec and I were on, and the light burning in my throat.

There was a particular street corner where a man was beating on a contraption of PVC pipes with flip flops. It caught my attention, my mind immediately wandering to and seeking out the somehow reassuring and familiar sound of music. It filled me with a light feeling of happiness. Even when Alec tried to pull me away to bring me back to the reason we were wandering the city, I just glanced at him and pouted. The rhythm of the song made me want to dance, but I suited for mild swaying instead, even as Alec insisted we go.

"Come on, Cullen. We should go." Alec demanded. I just shook my head.

"We should, but why would we? You may be hungry- or whatever- but I'd really rather stay here and listen." I replied with a surety. But then the music was gone. It just _vanished_. In my mind there was no explanation. I turned to the performer; he was still playing away on his makeshift drum set, but I could hear nothing.

"Let's go, Renesmee." Alec repeated himself. I glared at him, realizing he was using his powers again as I saw the slight discoloration in the air.

"You're no fun." I spat.

"The law never is." He grumbled back. I wondered if he really felt that way; that he was the law and thus couldn't do anything but what the rules said. And for vampires, it seemed there were lots of them on top of normal human-American laws.

…

After another twenty minutes of distracted walking and searching for potential victims respectively, we found ourselves standing in some slummy back alleys of the city. Hobos sat against walls with cups and cigarettes begging for money so they could go spend it away on their slow but painful death by inhalation and lung cancer.

We didn't stop at any of them though. We continued until we came upon a pair seeming to be trading drugs and money. The haze of Alec's power slowly landed upon the two men and they fell to the ground as if knocked out. I glanced at Alec, still not willing to drink from a human. I wouldn't be an animal! I was friends with humans, how would they feel if I ate them? How would I fell?

"Go, Cullen." Alec insisted. I looked back at him stupidly.

"Did you really believe I would do this? I _told you_ I wouldn't!" I exclaimed. He scoffed and walked over to the fainted pair.

"These people, Renesmee, they're nothing! Scum under your feet! They've done nothing but crime in this kind of place!" Alec retorted. "You've eaten cows more innocent than these monsters!" He explained. I just stared amazed. He had some gull saying those kinds of things.

"Now, who do you think you are? _These_ people are monsters? Take a look in the mirror! You go around killing people all the time! At least they're only doing drugs!" I said hotly.

"You just don't get it, do you?" He asked with a cruel smile. "We- _both of us_- are naturally monsters. We drink blood of humans, we kill and we are horrific. But at least we're being true to ourselves. Druggies don't. They try and cover who they are and change how they feel and act for a few measly hours at a time. But they're weak that way. Drugs are supposed to fix you, specially prescribed for individuals. But humans have a way of taking bad things and twisting them into moments of fake-living. We are real though. It's our biological right to do the things like kill. For them it's just destructive and idiotic." Alec said. He glared into my eyes, his presence becoming more and more looming by the second. I had the feeling this wasn't about the druggies on the ground though. He was talking to whoever I was before.

What did I do to myself that made Alec feel the need to get this in my head so adamantly?

I was definitely confused.

And I still didn't want to kill anyone.

This was going nowhere- and everywhere- all at the same time.

…

A/N: I'd just like to thank ALL the people who've followed, favorited and or reviewed my story! I really appreciate it! 10 points for you! Five points if you read it and liked it! :D

To the guest reviewer; at first glance it does seem like it would be similar to the vow, wouldn't it? I see what you mean, but I've seen the vow, and this story, while has similarities to that movie, doesn't quite have the same kind of story, all good thoughts though!

Thanks again for your support!

Review for what you liked or didn't like! Did I do well with Alec? Did you like all the dramatics?

DFTBA!

-Lamb

:D


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